I am a coward 08/01/2010
I’m writing in a 4-star hotel room in Paris. Glancing up now and then to watch my children sleep. They are safe. I’m only a few miles from where I spent last weekend, but the hotels are worlds apart. Last weekend I was afraid. I was also a coward. I booked a hotel online at a great price and arrived in Paris to find the address under a sign: Sex Shop. We found our way down the alley and pasted the gated entryway and were met by a clean cut young man who found our reservation in the hotel’s high speed computer. He helped with our luggage and assured me everything was okay. In the light of day the hotel was small, but quiet and clean. I took the picture below  and thought I would caption it “Happiness is discovering your hotel is not part of the Sex Shop” and filing it under “travel adventures.” At 10:30pm, the other rooms on my floor went into business. Every twenty minutes there was a change of clientele stomping up and down the stairs. I’m all for freedom. And I think sex between consenting adults should be private. But this was not consensual. There was fighting, breaking glass, crying. My only peace was that my daughter was sleeping through it all. I stayed awake, remote in one had (to throw at any intruders), cell phone in the other hand (to call the police, if needed?) I had my doubts about the police. Earlier in the day, I had pressed the assistance button in the metro expecting to speak to an attendant. Me “Hello, you said you would open the gate.” Response: “Do not speak English. This is the police.” So I wondered. About the police. About this hotel. The girls in the rooms on my floor and the ever changing line of men. Time passed with the phone signaling the end of each visit and the change of footsteps. Men slamming doors, sometimes knocking. One speaking in English “I visit you, please?” The fights were bad, but worse was when the verbal fighting turned to blows, the yelling broke down into the girls' sobbing. Just when I’d begin to feel brave –consider calling the police, or busting into the hallways between the men and dragging the girls into the “safety” of my room –another lost customer would pound on our door, rattling the wood in the frame. I knew I wouldn’t be able to fend off anyone with only a remote and a cell phone –even with a 14 year old girl who knows jujitsu by my side. I waited until long after the last fighting and breaking glass (it ending around 9am) and took my anger out on the young man at the front desk, the same one who welcomed us the day before. This is not a hotel. How could you not warn us? How could you let me bring my daughter to this place? So now we’re someplace quiet and safe. Here’s a photo of a car parked in front of the hotel next to ours.  But I still feel like a coward. And I wonder about our world, that girls could be treated in such a way, while a car stands roped off, guarded, and protected. Have you ever stayed somewhere you didn’t feel safe? What did you do? CommentsSun, 01 Aug 2010 5:33:21 pm Oh wow. This is terrifying. But I don't believe you were a coward at all! You had your 14 year old daughter with you, and if you'd gone into the hallways and tried to rescue those other girls (as noble and wonderful as the attempt would have been) you could have brought something very dangerous onto yourself and your daughter. Mon, 02 Aug 2010 12:12:02 am Thank you, Angie....just can't shake that "I should have done something" feeling! Sarah Koesters Tue, 03 Aug 2010 6:35:44 pm Angela-you should not feel like a coward...you were a mother protecting her child and even if you were alone there would have been nothing you could have done in that situation without endangering yourself or your daughter. It must have been terrifying....I can't even begin to imagine how awful it must have been. It is so hard to understand the atrocities that happen in our world and even more frustrating when we feel like we need to do something but are ultimately powerless. Working in human services has opened my eyes to the kind of lives people lead and the horrible and cruel things that can happen to people; especially to women and children. I understand your feeling of wanting to do something but for whatever it is worth I think you did the right thing! Wed, 04 Aug 2010 6:18:17 am Wow, what a horrific experience! I agree with Angie, what could you have done? But I wonder if now that you're out of there and safe, perhaps it would be worth alerting the police? I'm don't know what French law is regarding prostitution, or if they would do anything even if girls were being attacked, but maybe they would. Either way, you should alert the online company you booked through--clearly it isn't a legitimate hotel! Wed, 04 Aug 2010 10:04:04 am Sarah and Anne, Sat, 07 Aug 2010 10:13:51 am Oh Angela! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I've never experienced anything quite so scary, but my heart raced for you as I read your account. Sun, 08 Aug 2010 9:55:42 am Hey Angela - Just know for next time that there's a spare room for all of you CHEZ Bridget in beautiful peaceful medieval Senlis, only 25 min from Paris Gare Nord and close to CDG airport. Otherwise scbwi france yahoogroups has a list of recommended hotels for us kidsbook types, if you want to be totally central. Mon, 09 Aug 2010 2:03:14 pm Donna, Bridget -thank you Your comment will be posted after it is approved. Leave a Reply | The
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